omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
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