I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
