I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
