saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
