windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
