just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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