It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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