I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
