carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
