Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
