I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
