My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
