Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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