I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
