rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
