Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
