he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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