Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
