An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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