And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
