How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
