we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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