i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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