hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
