billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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