You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
