I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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