Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
