Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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