the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
