Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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