That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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