Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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