I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
