just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
