u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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