I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
