when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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