just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
