Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
