I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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