i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
