Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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