I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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