That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
