he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
