had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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