I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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