honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Girls should come with a carfax report
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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