I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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