you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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